Thread: Old School - Best Classic And Vintage Films

Country: USA
Language: English
Release Date: 1973
Distributor: Something Weird Video
Director: Unknown
Starring: Lynn Holmes, Mycle Brandy...

Description: "In the wilds of the Himalayan mountains, there are tales of a mammoth being known as the Abominable Snowman. In the similarly virgin territories of the North American continent, there exits its counterpart... Sasquash. otherwise known as THE GEEK."
Yup. this is exactly what the worlds been waiting for: a hardcore saga about Sasquash sex! Yes. Sasquash. Supposedly "filmed on location in Oregon. Washington and Alberta. Canada" (but looking like it was shot in a single afternoon behind someones farm), six sex-crazed campers set out to find the hairy one.
Our first clue that this isnt exactly a National Geographic special is when Valerie looks at Johns crotch and makes the first scientific discovery: "Oh. its so hard! I just wanna touch it." John promptly pokes her in a field while shes still wearing her shiny black go-go boots.
Then the team leader invites another of the gals into his tent for some "Italian sausage." (He really says that.) After a sizzlin screwing, she asks. "Was I a good piece of ass?" "Best piece I ever had. Of course, youre the only one." he replies. "You mean to tell me youre a virgin?!" "The closest I ever came was when my sister let me feel her breasts." Ooookaaaay...
Fortunately. Sasquash finally shows up. waves his arms, and makes with a few half-hearted growls. (The poor bastard looks drunk.) Nevertheless, what do you think our dimwit campers do when theyre face to face with this legendary creature? Thats right... They send him one of their women: "Walk slowly and dont scare him. okay?"
The chosen gal coyly approaches, holds a hand out for the creature to shake, and is immediately done doggie-style: "Oh that beast! He stuck that ugly thing into me!" The others are unnerved: "There he is. kids! Scram!"
Of course, the real geek on display here is the sorry asshole in the fright wig and Sasquash suit a hilariously shaggy fur coat and corduroy pants ripped at the crotch with what looks like his tiny tadger dangling in the wind who appears to be both tired and embarrassed and whose frantic humping of a second girl ends when he simply falls over on his side. Yes. boys and girls, thats entertainment!

File: 867 MB
Type: AVI
Duration: 00:45:54
Video: 624 x 448, XviD ISO MPEG-4, 23.976 fps, 2375 kbps, 0.354 bit/pixel
Audio: AC3, 48000Hz, 256 kb/s, stereo (2/0)



Download:
Geek.part1.rar
Geek.part2.rar
Geek.part3.rar
Geek.part4.rar

Country: USA
Language: English
Release Date: 1973
Distributor: Something Weird Video
Director: Josephine Milne
Starring: Antoinette Maynard (as Lilly Foster), Penny King, Bill Master, Charles Orlando (as Lloyd Kantor), James Mathers (as Rob Santos), Thad Watson (as Kyle Bradford)

Description: If you thought that was a foul belch of a film, wait till you get a load of our next "love story", Liz Mamas Little Girl.
Lilly Foster, a long-stemmed beauty with a big pouty mouth and tanned, caramel skin, heats up the screen as Liz, a tinseltown hooker. When we meet her she has a dog collar around her throat and is being led around on a leash by a burly brute who makes her "sit up" and "beg". It isnt long before he gives his "puppy" a bone.
Later she writes home to mother and talks about her "special friends". What mom doesnt know is that her little girl has a wild side. Liz goes belly-to-belly with a bevy of freaky weirdos. Highlights include a pimp who enjoys oral sex in a carwash and a man-hating crazed lesbian who ropes Liz to a bed, pulls her hair, smacks her around and gives her a lesson in obedience training.

File: 960 MB
Type: AVI
Duration: 00:58:53
Video: 696 x 516, XviD ISO MPEG-4, 29.970 fps, 2139 kbps, 0.199 bit/pixel
Audio: MPEG-1 Layer 3, 44100Hz, 128 kb/s, Joint Stereo



Download:
LizMamaGirl.part1.rar
LizMamaGirl.part2.rar
LizMamaGirl.part3.rar
LizMamaGirl.part4.rar

Country: USA
Language: English
Release Date: 1978
Distributor: Something Weird Video
Director: Unknown
Starring: April Grant, Suzie, Joanne...

Description: In the opening of The Virgin Forest, a soporific voice-over narration accompanies a seemingly endless montage of pastoral scenes: mountains, woods, babbling brooks, and so on. In the midst of jokes, anecdotes, and adages, the narrator promises "unexpected pleasures and adventures."
While we expect the unexpected, we are entertained with nuggets of burlesque-style wisdom like, "A girl should use what Mother Nature gave her, before Father Time takes it away," and, "The wages of sin are high, unless you know someone wholl do it for nothing. Tee-hee.
Finally, we meet three outdoorsmen a photographer, a hunter, and a fisherman whose conversation actually makes you long for the return of the narrator. Then, one by one, they run into three nature gals. "Ohmygod!" exclaims the hunter, "I was looking for squirrel and I found beaver!" Okay.
The fisherman actually reels his catch in from the lake a big buxom blonde who proves to be a sucker-fish.
After fucking outside, they all convene at "Fergusons Cabin" and fuck inside, proving, of course, that the forest is hardly virgin though theres plenty of stiff wood.

File: 699 MB
Type: AVI
Duration: 00:52:59
Video: 704 x 528, XviD ISO MPEG-4, 23.976 fps, 1712 kbps, 0.192 bit/pixel
Audio: MPEG-1 Layer 3, 48000Hz, 128 kb/s, Joint Stereo



Download:
VrgnF0rest.part1.rar
VrgnF0rest.part2.rar
VrgnF0rest.part3.rar
VrgnF0rest.part4.rar

Country: USA
Language: English
Release Date: 1971
Distributor: Something Weird Video
Director: Unknown
Starring: Anna Travers, Casey Lorraine, Donna Nation, Heather Starr, Patti Snyder, John Holmes, Tommy Toole

Description: Love Making U.S.A., isnt just another porn film. No, no. Its a "report made totally for the advancement of understanding and knowledge pertaining to love and its by-products in all forms." Exactly. Of course, the only "by-product" here is semen starting with the prehistoric stag film, A Free Ride, "considered to be one of the very first sex films ever made," in which two flappers pump semen in the sticks.
Then surprise! we watch the infamous EDWARD D. WOOD, JR. take pictures of smut-star Casey Lorraine! This segues into John Holmes getting a blowjob from a pretty wraith of a girl in a film that were told "could be entered in the Cannes Film Festival." Absolutely!
We next visit the set of a porno movie (Tomatoes) where a giant orgy is in progress. A guy with a mike waddles around commenting and interviews Anna Travers, tied to a door. "Notice the dignity which prevails," he says. Youll also notice all the dicks in the gals mouths.
After that, we go "beyond the orgasm" to watch John Holmes jam two California surfer gals with that giant thing of his.

File: 700 MB
Type: AVI
Duration: 00:53:01
Video: 704 x 528, XviD ISO MPEG-4, 23.976 fps, 1711 kbps, 0.192 bit/pixel
Audio: MPEG-1 Layer 3, 48000Hz, 128 kb/s, Joint Stereo



Download:
L0veMakingUSA.part1.rar
L0veMakingUSA.part2.rar
L0veMakingUSA.part3.rar
L0veMakingUSA.part4.rar

Country: USA
Language: English
Release Date: 1972
Distributor: Something Weird Video
Director: Unknown
Starring: Cyndee Summers, Rene Bond, Tina Smith, Franklin Anthony, Rick Cassidy, Rick Lutze

Description: The Bloomer Girl is Rene Bond! Or maybe shes Cyndee Summers. Who knows? Who cares? Neither one keeps her bloomers on long enough for us to be sure. But Rick Lutze and Rick Cassidy are also on hand, along with another guy and gal, to show us all what to do when the bloomers come off.
The ostensible plot has to do with selling womens underthings to potential buyers, but the real plot has to do with sucking and fucking on the floor, in bed, and in the shower with several rousing climaxes provided by the radiant Rene and the scintillant Cyndee who show us, once again, just why they became legendary nookie in the pantheon of porn.
You see, Ric wants to make "a reeeeally big sale" here, and so everyone goes for the hard sell right out of the gate. Rene is a buyer, Cyndee a seller, but this becomes a distinction without a difference as their pretty pussies show themselves to be the same eager beavers in the sack. And when their lovely mouths deliver a sales pitch to the perky penises of the two Ricks, youll be sold too.
Of course, it was an extremely quick sell for the Deviate who has long been jealous of any undergarment worn by Miss Bond.

File: 699 MB
Type: AVI
Duration: 00:57:09
Video: 704 x 528, XviD ISO MPEG-4, 23.976 fps, 1513 kbps, 0.170 bit/pixel
Audio: MPEG-1 Layer 3, 48000Hz, 192 kb/s, Joint Stereo



Download:
Bl00merGirl.part1.rar
Bl00merGirl.part2.rar
Bl00merGirl.part3.rar
Bl00merGirl.part4.rar

Country: USA
Language: English
Release Date: 1975
Distributor: Something Weird Video
Director: Arthur J. Franks
Starring: Candy Strapp, Cheryl Wellington-Smyth, Toni Scott (as Toni Adrian), Val Anderson (as Valerie Johnson), Christopher Norris, David Book (as David Jordan), Jonathon Younger (as John Ewbanks)

Description: The Agony of Lace, Lash & Love (1975) begins with a spirited orgy as a black couple and a white couple get jungle fever and trade partners. Later, the white guy, who looks like he needs an exorcist, asks them in a thick accent: "Have you ever heard of S&M?" "Is that that animal shit?" someone answers. To make a short story even shorter, our jaded, pleasure-seeking dolts kidnap a pasty German chick and force her to do shameful things. Her kinky captors prance around in Halloween masks, strip her, whip her and force her to become their sex slave. The End. This sleaze opus was shot in San Francisco and directed by Arthur J. Franks. It sounds like it was recorded underwater and the cast is better suited to a police line-up. For those taking notes it contains the usual ingredients: whips, rope burns, bondage, afros, sadomasochism, boobs and beaver. "Agony" is right.

File: 1.02 GB
Type: AVI
Duration: 00:56:36
Video: 688 x 516, XviD ISO MPEG-4, 29.970 fps, 2377 kbps, 0.225 bit/pixel
Audio: MPEG-1 Layer 3, 48000Hz, 192 kb/s, Joint Stereo



Download:
Ag0nyL0ve.part1.rar
Ag0nyL0ve.part2.rar
Ag0nyL0ve.part3.rar
Ag0nyL0ve.part4.rar

Country: USA
Language: English
Release Date: 1974
Distributor: Something Weird Video
Director: Gerald Greystone
Starring: Cynthia Pleschette, Glenda Simon, Paula Wain, Sandy Day, Sarah Michelob, Thomas Tringler

Description: Any flick whose opening shot is a closeup of a happy harden being rammed into a satisfied snatch cant be bad, right? And when the snatch belongs to porn princess Cris Cassiday, it cunt be anything but good!
Miss Cassidy is the titular Sweet Sister whose hapless and horny brother, Jamie, writes to her from college complaining that he cant get laid. Sis, of course, is an absolute expert in getting laid, banging both her boyfriend, Jim, and her best girlfriend, Katy, before her virgin bro arrives on the scene.
So, to help deflower her brother in style, Cassidy throws "a party at the cabin" where Katy, Jim, Richard Pacheco, and another gal make sure Jamie doesnt go back to school with his cherry. Of course, more than Jamie gets laid which is what porno flicks are all about, right?
In the end, Jamie is transformed into a stud, returns to college, and fucks the shit out of his chubby little coed girlfriend and were left with the sense that God is smiling and all is right in the world of 70s porn.

File: 699 MB
Type: AVI
Duration: 00:58:54
Video: 720 x 544, XviD ISO MPEG-4, 23.976 fps, 1526 kbps, 0.162 bit/pixel
Audio: MPEG-1 Layer 3, 48000Hz, 128 kb/s, Joint Stereo



Download:
SweetSister.part1.rar
SweetSister.part2.rar
SweetSister.part3.rar
SweetSister.part4.rar

Country: USA
Language: English
Release Date: 1973
Distributor: Something Weird Video
Director: Unknown
Starring: Charlotte Holstein, Rene Bond, Bill Scott, Rick Lutze

Description: Sex Asylum is another happy little tale. The Mayville Detention Home caters to sexually-disturbed female mental patients. Theyre locked behind bars and are given "treatment" by Dr. Thorton and a chubby dyke named Nurse Johnson.
The love dolls problems include "Phallic Fixation" and "Nymphomania". Theres Mrs. Flowers ("Get me out of this fucking place! Oh God""). Miss Benson (who hasnt been the same since she saw Mom blow dad) and "Frigid Phyllis" who gets rаped by the guards. Rene Bond plays Miss Scott, who gets her cooch mauled by Nurse Johnson. They dont call her the "Head Nurse" for nothing...

File: 699 MB
Type: AVI
Duration: 01:02:07
Video: 640 x 480, XviD ISO MPEG-4, 29.970 fps, 1373 kbps, 0.149 bit/pixel
Audio: MPEG-1 Layer 3, 48000Hz, 192 kb/s, Joint Stereo



Download:
SxAsylum.part1.rar
SxAsylum.part2.rar
SxAsylum.part3.rar
SxAsylum.part4.rar

Country: USA
Language: English
Release Date: 1972
Distributor: Something Weird Video
Director: John Donne
Starring: Andy Bellamy, Suzanne Fields (as Cynthia Westcott), Kim Dupont, Nancy Martin, Rene Bond, Chlorine Stillwater (as Shella Bancroft), Eve Orlon (as Sunny Boyd), Sandy Dempsey (as Tiffany Stewart), Rick Lutze

Description: Wanna be in a porno? Step 1: Start fucking. Step 2: Carefully study every detail of this behind-the-scenes and under-the-sheets double feature.
Exhibit A: Start with director Vinnie Barnes (Rick Lutze) whose porno western "Red Run the Buffaloes," is being Shot on Location. Three squaws, Suzanne Fields, Andy Bellamy and Nancy Martin, discover some interesting locations between each others legs after Bellamy blows a cowboy to save him from being burned a the stake. "No burn white eyes!" she gibbers before falling to her knees.
Set to star in this epic is Hanna Grimes (Sandy Dempsey), "second best dart thrower in Chattanooga Falls," which makes Vinnies script girl, Maggie (Rene Bond), a tad jealous. Fortunately, producer Anson Garrets lesbian assistant, Bea (Chlorine Stillwater), expertly soothes the situation so that everyone falls into bed together.
But Vinnie ends up screwing Garrets wife. Carla (Eve Orlon), who he somehow thought was Hanna, and gets caught by his wife Agnes (Kim Dupont) who, appropriately enough, shoots him on location. Which is just as well since Lutze inexplicably plays his last scene covered in a bedsheet. Really.

File: 879 MB
Type: AVI
Duration: 01:00:12
Video: 640 x 464, XviD ISO MPEG-4, 23.976 fps, 1777 kbps, 0.250 bit/pixel
Audio: AC3, 48000Hz, 256 kb/s, stereo (2/0)



Download:
Sh0tL0cati0n.part1.rar
Sh0tL0cati0n.part2.rar
Sh0tL0cati0n.part3.rar
Sh0tL0cati0n.part4.rar

Country: USA
Language: English
Release Date: 1970
Distributor: Something Weird Video
Director: Modunk Phreezer
Starring: Kathy Hilton, Lu Tomery, Sandy Dempsey, Stephany Sarver, Jesse Moreno, John Dullahan, John Holmes, L.G. Allard

Description: Max Schreck did it first... Bela Lugosi did it best... And Christopher Lee did it the most. Now comes John Holmes! Yup, he of the mutant member plays Count Dracula -- Oops! Make that Count Spatula -- in this rude, raunchy, and ridiculous horror sex comedy from the early Seventies.
Rising from his coffin in traditional vampire regalia, the Count sees a mouse and screams like a little girl: Goddamn no good exterminators! Checking the refrigerator, hes appalled to learn that hes out of bottled blood. Fortunately, Sandy Dempsey and six other swingers conveniently show up, anxious to have sex in a haunted house: Whos afraid of a house with horny ghosts in it? Rod (John Dullahan), the leader of the group, is the nephew of the Count -- The house belongs to this weird uncle of mine. Hes a vampire. He really sucks, man! -- but that significant bit of plot development is immediately disposed of in favor of the real plot: screwing. Which is what the seven do almost immediately upon entering. One couple takes to the couch, another couple retires to Bedroom A, and the remaining three head for Bedroom B, and all get down and dirty in the blink of an eye.
As the couples hump the night away -- before ending up in one big orgy -- the Count peeps at them and gets turned on. We know hes turned on because he makes funny faces. He also electrocutes himself (through the cinematic miracle of scratching the film), bites his nephews throat with bulging fake fangs (accompanied by slurping sounds and cutaways to the meter of a gas pump), then climbs in the sack with four of the gals before a vampire-appropriate punchline....
Though a complete filmography is probably an impossibility, its estimated that John (C. for Curtis) Holmes made over 2000 films -- most of them loops, starting in the late Sixties with a couple of gay ones -- proving, in his case at least, that size did matter. (And, at 12-plus inches, thats a lot of mattering.) Sex and the Single Vampire is, apparently, one of his earliest feature-film roles, released a year before his signature Johnny Wadd epics. Wearing lipstick and so much eye makeup that one half expects a gay joke to be lurking around the corner, Holmes minces and mugs and, well, pretty much makes a damn fool of himself. That he abandoned comedy for a future in hardcore was an extremely wise career move. Oddly, Holmes remains outside and away from all the sex scenes here, at least until the last scene where his dongness is finally displayed. Holmes would again don plastic vampire fangs later in the decade for Dracula Sucks (starring Jamie Gillis as Drac) in which Holmes fleshy protuberance, rather than his neck, gets bitten.
A dumb, goofy, soft-X sleazefest, Sex and the Single Vampire belongs on every deviates shelf, right next to Terror at Orgy Castle (which -- surprise! -- stars a John Holmes look-alike).

File: 863 MB
Type: AVI
Duration: 00:54:16
Video: 640 x 464, XviD ISO MPEG-4, 23.976 fps, 1957 kbps, 0.275 bit/pixel
Audio: AC3, 48000Hz, 256 kb/s, stereo (2/0)



Download:
SingleVampire.part1.rar
SingleVampire.part2.rar
SingleVampire.part3.rar
SingleVampire.part4.rar